I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
