There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
