The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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