So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
