It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
