soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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