Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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