Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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