"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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