Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
