you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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