Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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