i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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