there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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