He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
