she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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