I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
