No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
