mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
