if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
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