Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
