lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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