i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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