none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
