I wish I could punch you in the face.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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