Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I die, sorry about rent.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
