How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
