Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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