I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
