there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
