i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My liver just had a heart attack.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
