are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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