True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
