Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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