i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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