Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
