yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I would ride that face into the sunset
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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