i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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