i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
