Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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