Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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