I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
