Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
