it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
