dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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