So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
