your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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