I will die if light touches me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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