this just has baby written all over it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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