Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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